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Friday, 17 August 2012

A little humour helps, but here's a lot!

 Golf Joke

A woman was playing golf when she took a big swing and fell.
The party waiting behind her was a group from the White House that included President Obama, who quickly stepped forward and helped her to her feet.
She thanked him and started to leave, when he said, "I'm President Obama and I hope you'll vote for me this November."
She laughed and quickly said, "I fell on my ass, not my head!"

Close Your Curtains

A woman phones her blonde neighbour and says, "Close your curtains the next time you and your husband are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday."
To which the blonde replies, "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday."

Why I Stopped You

An elderly gentleman was pulled over on the freeway.
The officer walked up to the man’s car and asked, “Sir, do you know why I stopped you?"
"No, officer, I don't," answered the old man.
"Are you not aware that you left your wife back at the last rest stop?”
The old man replied, “Thank God, I thought I’d gone deaf!”

Sunday, 12 August 2012

The English malady of making life more difficult than it is!

I wrote this article some time ago, on a different blog, but have reproduced it today to show a fine example of the English malady of always wanting to make life a little more complex than it really is. Read the second paragraph first to see where I stand on the subject.

Network Marketing

Now here’s an interesting topic. One where reason goes out of the window and people either hate it or love it. But many, both those who hate it, and those who love it, don’t actually understand it.

First of all I must nail my colours to the mast. I do not indulge in Network Marketing as such. I do not have the time or inclination. However, I may cheat a little from time to time by joining a scheme so I can buy product wholesale – but am often found out and thrown out!

On the whole Network Marketing doesn’t work in Britain, especially in England.

It has been going for nearly a hundred years. It works well in Japan where it began, and in America where the Americans understand what it is about.

Network Marketing is also known as Multi-Level Marketing and Networking. In the US it is also considered a no-brainer. More of this later.

Friday, 10 August 2012

New Zealand Judges have the right idea

Words for teenagers

"Northland College Principal John Tapene has offered the following words from a judge who regularly deals with youth:

'Always we hear the cry from teenagers "What can we do, where can we go?"

'My answer is this: Go home, mow the lawn, wash the windows, learn to cook, build a raft, get a job, visit the sick, study your lessons, and after you've finished, read a book. Your town does not owe you recreational facilities and your parents do not owe you fun.

'The world does not owe you a living, you owe the world something. You owe it your time, energy and talent so that no one will be at war, in sickness and lonely again. In other words, grow up, stop being a cry baby, get out of your dream world and develop a backbone not a wishbone. Start behaving like a responsible person. You are important, you are needed.

It's too late to sit around and wait for somebody to do something someday. Someday is now and that somebody is you!' "

Sunday, 5 August 2012

This is what being English is really all about

Born in Yorkshire, left school at 14, so therefore, is self-educated.

When I lived in South Africa, this is an example of what I thought was a typical Englishman.

Alas, typical he ain't!

Polly Toynbee's disreputable writings #762

Polly always sees red: Toynbee's rewriting of history

Polly Toynbee's historical revisionism is a spectacle at the best of times. Her views on Danny Boyle's Olympic opening ceremony are something else

Written by Andrew Gibson.
This article appeared in the Commentator on 2 August 2012

If Simon Heffer asserted that the Tories established the NHS, or Trevor Kavanagh congratulated the Conservative Party for having legislated into effect the statutory minimum wage, you would certainly read some consequent sneering commentary in the diaries of the Guardian or the Independent.

So how should readers of The Commentator – who are naturally polite people – react to Polly Toynbee’s recent historical revisionism in The Guardian?

I know little about this but it seems frightening

However, it may be a load of "male cow droppings" so I would be very pleased to hear your views on the subject, dear reader! In particular, has it reached England yet?