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Sunday, 12 June 2011

Job hunting in Cameron's Britain.

I rewrote my CV several times, I even got professional help, but, alas, just couldn't find a suitable job for my obvious talents.

In despair, I took part-time jobs, anything to keep the wolf from the door, and had fourteen of these jobs until I finally found one I could safely embrace on a full time basis.

My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned.  Couldn't concentrate. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting. Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it.... Couldn't cut the mustard. 

My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried hard but just didn't fit in. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income. 

Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.   

So I tried Retirement - and found I am perfect for the job!

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