PERMISSIONS:
You may link to my blog but if you want to copy my article to your own blog, please give the following credit: From "Ampers' Rants" at www.ampers.me.uk. Thank you.

APOLOGIES
I have been over zealous with political comment lately so have now accepted the offer to assemble and write for two blogs on the WatchingUK website. The "Good News" blog is for items where we have benefited from the Brexit referendum vote and the "Bad News" blog is where others have tried to damage our chances of leaving the EU.

SUBSCRIPTIONS:
If you like what you see, why not subscribe to the blog? You can follow Ampers' Rants by adding your email address in the box below (left) Notifications are also shown in my Twitter account: AmpersUK.

Sunday, 12 June 2011

Job hunting in Cameron's Britain.

I rewrote my CV several times, I even got professional help, but, alas, just couldn't find a suitable job for my obvious talents.


In despair, I took part-time jobs, anything to keep the wolf from the door, and had fourteen of these jobs until I finally found one I could safely embrace on a full time basis.

My first job was working in an Orange Juice factory, but I got canned.  Couldn't concentrate. Then I worked in the woods as a Lumberjack, but just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe. After that, I tried being a Tailor, but wasn't suited for it -- mainly because it was a sew-sew job.
Next, I tried working in a Muffler Factory, but that was too exhausting. Then, tried being a Chef - figured it would add a little spice to my life, but just didn't have the thyme. Next, I attempted being a Deli Worker, but any way I sliced it.... Couldn't cut the mustard. 

My best job was a Musician, but eventually found I wasn't noteworthy. I studied a long time to become a Doctor, but didn't have any patience. Next, was a job in a Shoe Factory. I tried hard but just didn't fit in. I became a Professional Fisherman, but discovered I couldn't live on my net income. 

Managed to get a good job working for a Pool Maintenance Company, but the work was just too draining. So then I got a job in a Workout Center, but they said I wasn't fit for the job. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a Historian - until I realized there was no future in it. My last job was working in Starbucks, but had to quit because it was the same old grind.   

So I tried Retirement - and found I am perfect for the job!

No comments: