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Saturday, 9 May 2015

This one is especially for my South African friends to help explain UKIP

UK Independence Party is not concerned with immigration. This is the biggest non-truth put out by our enemies.

We are concerned with not being allowed to control our borders. This is totally different to being concerned with immigration.

To allow anyone and his cat to come in from twenty-eight different countries, flooding schools, medical practices, hospitals, housing on a totally uncontrolled basis is simply not on.

Our country needs immigrants desperately, we have an ageing population and there are thousands of good jobs which can't be filled. The EU “open borders” policy has filled many of these but has also flooded the country with hundreds of thousands of manual labourers. These people work for below a liveable wage so that many of our workers have to be paid “make up wages” out of welfare so they can live. This is not good for family pride.

Wednesday, 6 May 2015

UKIP's Rallying Song


Tuesday, 5 May 2015

Ampers knows who YOU are going to vote for.

Or, rather, he's been told, by Pat Condell, all secrets revealed below, just click on the button!

I'm one of those clever, clever, know-it-alls, who have already worked this out for myself.


Monday, 27 April 2015

How to deal with Romanian pickpockets in London

I know the Romanian pickpocket gangs work this way but there are others who may work differently.

First of all, put all your dirty tissues in an outside pocket rather than getting rid of them.

When someone bumps into you, apologises and pats you down, don't feel if your wallet is still there, rather pat the pocket with the dirty tissues.

These people work as a team and there is someone watching you to see which pocket you pat.

He's the one who will pick your pocket. Twice I have lost my dirty tissues.

Sunday, 19 April 2015

About "The Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership" Scary!

The following article has been cut short for legal reasons from the Independent. Please follow the link at the bottom to see the final half of the items listed.

What is TTIP? And six reasons why the answer should scare you

By Lee Williams
Tuesday 7 October 2014

Have you heard about TTIP? If your answer is no, don’t get too worried; you’re not meant to have.
The Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership is a series of trade negotiations being carried out mostly in secret between the EU and US. As a bi-lateral trade agreement, TTIP is about reducing the regulatory barriers to trade for big business, things like food safety law, environmental legislation, banking regulations and the sovereign powers of individual nations. It is, as John Hilary, Executive Director of campaign group War on Want, said: “An assault on European and US societies by transnational corporations.”

Since before TTIP negotiations began last February, the process has been secretive and undemocratic. This secrecy is on-going, with nearly all information on negotiations coming from leaked documents and Freedom of Information requests.

But worryingly, the covert nature of the talks may well be the least of our problems. Here are six other reasons why we should be scared of TTIP, very scared indeed:

1 The NHS

Public services, especially the NHS, are in the firing line. One of the main aims of TTIP is to open up Europe’s public health, education and water services to US companies. This could essentially mean the privatisation of the NHS.
1 The NHS
The European Commission has claimed that public services will be kept out of TTIP. However, according to the Huffington Post, the UK Trade Minister Lord Livingston has admitted that talks about the NHS were still on the table.

2 Food and environmental safety

TTIP’s ‘regulatory convergence’ agenda will seek to bring EU standards on food safety and the environment closer to those of the US. But US regulations are much less strict, with 70 per cent of all processed foods sold in US supermarkets now containing genetically modified ingredients. By contrast, the EU allows virtually no GM foods. The US also has far laxer restrictions on the use of pesticides. It also uses growth hormones in its beef which are restricted in Europe due to links to cancer. US farmers have tried to have these restrictions lifted repeatedly in the past through the World Trade Organisation and it is likely that they will use TTIP to do so again.

The same goes for the environme3 Banking regulationsnt, where the EU’s REACH regulations are far tougher on potentially toxic substances. In Europe a company has to prove a substance is safe before it can be used; in the US the opposite is true: any substance can be used until it is proven unsafe. As an example, the EU currently bans 1,200 substances from use in cosmetics; the US just 12.

3 Banking regulations

Cameron, Milliband and Clegg club together to tell a children's story.

This is so funny, at the end of it I had to lie down as my insides were aching so much from laughing.

The genius who cut and pasted all this was brilliant.

Tell me what you think!


Tuesday, 14 April 2015

British Media - a solution

The following goes against my libertarian ideals so I would welcome a better way.

If we want a free press, we could do it with legislation, but not the way so many lefties propose.

First of all, no one man should control a national newspaper, or in fact any television station. It is a recipe for the greedy and power hungry to control governments.

But neither should legislation curtail the press to go about their lawful work.

In addition, we need different rules for different cases.

For example, we can be more relaxed on the politics of newspapers which have a cover price and are sold in newsagents. Free newspapers should have a 4" x 2" banner at the top of page one stating the party the newspaper supports or, if they don't want to do that, be in the same class as television news and be put into public ownership.

National Newspapers:

Saturday, 11 April 2015

How do pollsters go about their business? [Supposition]

First of all, I want to make this abundantly clear. I am not saying this is what happens, it is more a case of genuinely wondering whether this suspicion is true.

If you think it is false, leave a comment and say where you think I am going wrong. If you think it is true, a comment on why you agree with me would be of interest.

A national newspaper recently commissioned a poll on the Royal Family. They state, on their front page that a majority of people don't want Camilla to be Queen 'in public' and that 40% want William to be the next monarch.

I read this and wondered how true it was. It was a poll so could it be fixed? On further thought the following scenario unfolded..

The newspaper contacts the pollsters and told them they were thinking of writing an article where the majority of people didn't want Camilla to be Queen in public. And, that a sizeable chunk of people wanted Prince Charles to be bypassed when the queen dies.

Having planted in the pollsters' mind the results the newspaper were looking for, the client took themselves off. The pollsters, wanting repeat business from the newspaper, sat down to design their questions and the locations where they would ask their questions.

Thursday, 26 March 2015

Ampers' Humour: Catholic Morning Coffee

Four old Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee in St. Peters Square . The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Grace'."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone bows their head and says 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic man says very proudly, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him 'Your Holiness'."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, The four men give her a subtle, "Well....?"

She proudly replies, I have a daughter,

Thursday, 19 March 2015

Good advice to "Johnny Foreigners" from a UKIP member.

When I am about the town, and I hear all these foreign immigrants nattering away in their languages, and when I am in shops and hear them speaking pidgin English with heavy accents, it makes me feel really superior.

I think; 'they are going to have a really tough time and will never become really British unless they pull their finger out'.

I came to England in 1955 when I was fifteen. This was the end of my formal education. The first thing I did was to get a job and my weekly pay packet, before deductions was £1/5/- (£1.25 in new money). My English was atrocious, but then, it was my third language after Afrikaans and Zulu.

Apart from my job, my first action was to buy The Times (this was when it was a proper newspaper, with the “small” adverts on the front page).

Wikipedia says of the Times: On 3 May 1966 it resumed printing news on the front page - previously the front page featured small advertisements, usually of interest to the moneyed classes in British society. In 1967, members of the Astor family sold the paper to Canadian publishing magnate Roy Thomson, The Thomson Corporation merged it with The Sunday Times to form Times Newspapers Limited.

This was, in my opinion, (which hasn't changed since) the end of a great institution. The Times was no longer “The Thunderer”.

Each day, I would read the editorial, underlining words I didn't understand, until I had underlined five words. I then stopped reading and looked them up in a dictionary so I fully understood them, and then made a point of using them that day. I firmly believed a new word wasn't mine until I had used it in conversation. It was a full year before I could read the entire editorial without underlining more than a single word. In addition to this, I worked in the evenings and weekends to earn extra money and went to a speech therapist to change my guttural Afrikaans accent into a more smoother English Accent.

It must have been successful as, after this first year in England, I moved to America and people where were convinced I was English.

So my advice to Johnny Foreigner (how English I have become) is, leave your own people, mix with English people, or if that is difficult (you're married or sharing a flat with others from home) insist, at least, that you all speak English. If you have babies, and you want them to be totally bilingual, speak to them in English one day and your language the next day. That is how I learned Zulu.

Dit is goeie raad.
Lesi yiseluleko esihle.
This is good advice.


Saturday, 14 March 2015

Can you help with an exciting new project please?

I want to develop a large list of productivity apps which not only are available on an Android phone and on the iPhone, but have a website where you can enter data which will then sync with your app.

One terrific example of this is Evernote. Used by millions of mobile users.

You can either email me at or add the name of your apps in a comment below.

I will do the research and compile a list which will be useful to all of us. It will be published here.


Tuesday, 3 March 2015

Great Android database "how to" to list all your valuable items if stolen

I have found a great database for my Android phone. Alas, as it is Google Orientated, so it is not available on Apple, but I am sure someone has written something similar.

First of all, take a look at Memento’s website to see what it can do. Then read below to see how you can use it for your valuable items.

I have security cameras in my home. One on view in the hallway, and one hidden, and aimed at a valuable item. Both send photographs to my Galaxy cellphone.

If I am away from home, even as far afield as South Africa, I can see if anyone is in my home, or if they've been in and out, I can check if they have stolen that valuable item.

This is where Memento's app assists – but first how I have set it up.

On the phone I have set up a custom app, so it has my information, portrayed the way I want it. I have called it "Taylor's valuables".

Then I set up the fields, as follows.
Room – text field
Photograph – Photo field (as thumbnail)
Make – text field
Model Name – text field
Colour – text field
Model Number – text field
Present Value – Money field as GBP
When Purchased – date field (although US program it interprets I'm in the UK)
Notes – text field
SmartWater – a yes/no field

Friday, 27 February 2015

Forgive me, I'm feeling nostalgic and a little homesick at the moment.

I hope you can enjoy the electric atmosphere though.


Is there a good argument for reducing our MPs to 325? This proves there is!

For the purpose of this article, we won't discuss the upper houses in each country, which are:

535 members in the USA Congress (Upper House).
790 members in the UK House of Lords (Upper House).

Neither will we go into the totals of both houses of each country, which are:

Members of both houses in the USA total 970 members.
Members of both houses in the UK total 1,440 members.

Let's just examine the lower houses of each country (which is where the main work of parliament takes place).

The USA House of Representatives (Lower House) has 435 members which look after 318,900,000 people over an area of 3,800,000 square miles. If we divide these figures by their members we get an average of 87,356 sq miles and 733.103 people per Representative

UK House of Commons (Lower House) has 650 MPs which looks after 64,100,000 people over an area of 93,800 square miles.  If we divide these figures by their members we get an average of 144 sq miles and 98,615 people per MP.

Let us now try and compare each country for the purpose of trying to find out which is more efficient:

If the UK MPs covered the same distances as their American counterparts, we would have 40.5 MPs. (John Bercow for the point five?)

If the UK MPs covered the same number of people as their American counterparts, we would have 5 MPs.

Sunday, 22 February 2015

How to change your life for the better, just for a one off payment of £7.07

This applies, not only for business, but in many cases for your home life as well. David Allen has certainly set the world alight with his efficiency system. To have him come and help you - he spends whole weekends helping captains of industry get sorted, at sums which would make your eyes water.

Fortunately for many of us, he has set out his ideas in a book. Amazon UK have his book "Getting Things Done" for only £4.68 in Kindle format or £9.79 if you'd prefer the paperback - I have purchased both. He goes into the theory pretty deeply before he comes to the nitty-gritty, but without his lead-in, the full description wouldn't be of much help. Since finishing the book, I have totally re-organised my home office rebuilt my four drawer filing system from scratch, and thrown out a ton of "clutter".

There are many apps in the market place which try to handle @GTD (Getting Things Done) but many just don't do it for me, they are mostly over complicated, and take up too much time.

A GTD app I really like is Chaos Control. It has nice clean lines and is very easy to work with. It is in its early stage but the writer says that, although he has lots of plans for it, he intends to K.I.S.S. (which stands for Keep It Simple, Stupid).

One notebook app I have been using has been Evernote. I used it just to keep snippets of information but never really rated the software.

This all changed when I read Steve Scott's book, "Master Evernote". Quite frankly, the book astonished me. I had never realised the power of the program until I read his book.

However, you would be very much advised to get your manual system set up as David Allan suggests before looking at Evernote. I didn't and after I set up all the stacks, folders and tags, found I had done them all incorrectly, and had to start all over again. Take my advice and master the manual system first.

Friday, 20 February 2015

My Threexxx Four favourite historic put-downs.

And, they were all made by one man!
Lady Astor to Winston Churchill; "Winston, if I were your wife, I’d put poison in your coffee." "Nancy," Churchill replied; "if I were your husband, I’d drink it." 
One of the Prime Minister's bodyguards confirmed this exchange was with Bessie Braddock: Bessie to Winston; "Winston, you are drunk, exceedingly drunk". Winston replied; "And, you are ugly, my dear, exceedingly ugly, but, in the morning, I shall be sober." 
Finally, there was this exchange by telegram with George Bernard Shaw: GBS: Tickets at door for my first night, bring a friend, if you have one."WSC: Can't make first night, will come second night, if there is one."
I typed these, in no particular order, which one do you prefer, and do you know any other famous put-downs in history? Here's another to start you off:
Duke of Wellington: "We have always been, we are, and I hope we always will be... detested by the French."

Monday, 16 February 2015

Why does it take so long in the UK?

I'm referring to our builders and building companies, and also to the short sightedness of the people commissioning these people to build.

Take the Empire State building in New York as an example.

17th March 1930 - Construction begins, the framework for this magnicent building rises at 4.5 floors a week.

1st May 1931 - This 103 storey building is opened, by President Hoover turning on all the buildings lights from Washington.

Wednesday, 11 February 2015

Ampers' Humour: How to get rich, in one easy lesson!

A lovely story...
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two... large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a £20 note fell out onto the pavement.

Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are £20 notes falling out of that bag."

"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.
"Well, now, not so fast,"said the cop. Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

Saturday, 31 January 2015

How to get Amazon next day courier service completely free.

You can get Amazon Prime, which normally costs £79 per annum, completely free if you are a regular Amazon customer.

You get unlimited one-day delivery on over 7 million items, and courier costs can be quite expensive.

In addition, there is unlimited photo storage in Amazon Cloud Drive. I am an avid photographer, and my pictures are now in their thousands.

I'm not into videos too much so I don't take so much advantage of the unlimited instant streaming of more than 15,000 titles with Prime Instant Video. In the last month, I have watched about two.

Friday, 30 January 2015

How the Internet began - an oldie but still humorous!

In ancient Israel , it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy.

Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg.

Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?"

Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, "How, dear?"

Dot replied, "I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah's Pony Stable (UPS)."

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.

The drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.